• Roy Merchant

20 Things I Wish I Knew At 20

Updated: May 16


This is a excerpt from the book I am just finishing and is:

The Third Thing I Wish I Knew

Let me know what you think in our comment section which is found by scrolling down to the bottom of the Home Page of the website

We Are Mortal And Just Passing Through.

I wish I knew at 20 that your energies will not last forever. I know that at that young age life is just an endless list of possibilities and you do not feel that you have to worry about anything like the longevity of your time on Gaia. But it is a race and try as you might, you will not get everything done before time calls and catches you totally unprepared for the next great journey. So, it is best to keep yourself as whole, happy, healthy and as un-obsessed as life will allow. Relax and play with your friends, smile as much as you can. Share your energy with others, in time they will share theirs with you. Most importantly, be at peace with yourself, and you will end up being at peace with others.

I wish I knew then that you must try and live out all of your dreams, rather than think that the habits and customs that have been indoctrinated into you by your parents are the right templates for a successful life. You only have one lifetime and the time frame for it is about 60 – 70 useful years if you get there. After that, you are pretty much finished. You say you are alive, you convince yourself that it is all about mind over matter, but really, it is not. If you are still physically fit, your mind has lost all the courage and “try first, worry later” mentality that has driven it for the last 60 years and what you have left are the uncertainties.

You cannot achieve great things with uncertainties. The saddest thing to me is meeting someone who has gotten to 70, then looks back and realise that they have fulfilled everyone else’s dreams and theirs are still unborn. Still lifeless in the things to do section, impatiently waiting in the “Must get around to this one-day” file that has been gathering dust for decades after decades. Meanwhile, you look at the things you have achieved in your time because we all have them and we find that all of them have someone else’s name on them.

People are running around shouting and bragging about the things they have done single-handedly, and when you look at them, they have your joint signature all over them. Help as many people as you can, but always remember to make sure that your dreams are incorporated into everything that you do. Always be on the lookout for opportunities to fulfil your dreams. Remember that those dreams are tomorrow’s realities.

If only I had worked out by 20 that it is the affiliations that you discover, nurture, protect and maintain that will repay you in the later years. It is everyone for themselves, and you cannot rely on anyone to ensure that your relationships are safe, while you are occupied. Never take it for granted that your relationships are being meaningfully defended in your absence. You must find ways of making sure that your emotional connections are being maintained, through conversations, laughs, jokes and whatever else it takes to keep them blooming. Otherwise, you get to a certain point and realise that your connections are withering on the vine. It is no one’s fault. It is just how it is. We are selfish beings, us humans.

Do not allow your mind to be filled with any regrets, self-pity, or sad memories of what could / should have been. Revise what could have been into what is possible now and do it. Save the day. Remember that if you are the I of NOW, then your children are the I’s of TOMORROW.

I wish I could have seen that it is crucial to take love seriously. It is the only thing that makes sense. If you cannot find a God, if you think that the only spirits are what you drink on a Saturday night and nothing else, or that the mind is just a storehouse for your memories and your photographs and nothing else matters, then love becomes the most significant philosophical entity that can change how you feel about things. Without love and faith in it, there is no hope.

Without hope, there is no point in getting out of bed in the morning, because there is no incentive to go and change the world. And, we exist to change the world. So find love, do not give up on it as it will never give up on you. Sometimes it is in the shade waiting for you to discover it. Other times it is by a brook, waiting for you to turn up, so it can make the connection and move on to its next client. Remember that love is the positive spiritual force in the universe, and although it has to fight a host of negative energies, its ultimate victory is never in doubt. Be positive and hopeful.

20 would have been a good age to figure all this out.

Full copyright : Roy Merchant - September 2018


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